Mommy Blog Lines: Tal(k)ing Care

http://commonlaw.uottawa.ca/sites/commonlaw.uottawa.ca/files/egirls-logo.gif We had a recent conversation with two scholars whose project is to study girls online-- http://egirlsproject.ca/ Valerie Steeves and Jane Bailey   were very helpful in suggesting ways to rethink how to interest parent bloggers in raising questions about blogging and privacy.  We pointed out that many parents believe their children enjoy being the subjects--or "stars"-- of parent-authored  online tales. They pointed to research that says something different--many children feel awkward or exposed by being online fodder. They suggested we characterize the problem in economic terms and apply the process of commodification to describe the actions of parents who turn their children into mediated characters. They also pointed out that parents worry about children's online practices and safety--and that there needs to be some sharp ways to turn this worry around,  so that parents are willing to th

It's hard not to  think about privacy online as resembling privacy in our day to day lives. If we can make such a connection, then we can also realize that our sense of privacy has changed and developed with cultural winds and trends. Whereas 100 years ago, individuals guarded a lot of information as private, in earlier ages there was more willingness and acceptance of group share. McLuhan says that with the printing press we heightened our sense of individuality --started to live in insulated shell selves. Before that we were part of a tribe, in a village, and we accepted a life of open sharing. If this is true, then "privacy" is in no way a solid concept, but a moving construct, always changing how it is understood and practiced. We currently do not observe the same sense of boundaries as we have in other times. The standards move in time, across place.

A look into Sherry Turkle's Reclaiming Conversation: T he Power of Talk in a Digital Age http://sherryturkle.com/books/reclaiming-conversation-hc

A look into Greg Ferenstein's The Birth And Death Of Privacy: 3,000 Years of History Told Through 46 Images. https://medium.com/the-ferenstein-wire/the-birth-and-death-of-privacy-3-000-years-of-history-in-50-images-614c26059e#.5nlay94t3 Published on The Ferenstein Wire , November 24, 2015.

Educators like Stuart Poyntz and Leslie Regan Shade are doing good work to help children, ‘tweens and teens negotiate privacy practices online. Our work has parallels to theirs, with our challenge of building a link to parents. Most parents grew up in an electronic world that celebrated big screens, yet today, these adults now live in a world where screens are ever smaller and ever present. Parents need to think about what they produce and share on line. We want our scholarly project to contribute to the productivity of their reflections.

Women have fought for so long to break out of silences. Virginia Woolf argued we all should be so lucky to have space and time to create and Tillie Olson lamented our silences and gaps. Liberation through conversation and discussion. On the other hand, there are protective and self selected silences–those that honor others and ourselves and recognize the slippery nature of media and language. There isn’t a slick, quick answer, but a need for productive reflexivities.

About 20 years ago we each had children, and at the time breastfeeding was assumed to be natural and essential to the developmental health of children. I remember a nurse telling me that I was sending my children into a lifetime of sickness and ailments if I wouldn’t breastfeed each until they were 2 to 3 years old. On the matter of sleeping positions, at the time we were told that babies had to be swaddled tight and on their sides. Imagine our shock when we learned that the rules had changed because that side positioning was more risky for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Turns out our safe practices were wasted and even potentially dangerous effort. Our point is, that not following either of these "good mommy" rules would have meant incurring the judgement of other moms and health care providers. The Making Time for Mommy blog takes on this same topic and provides another warning against judging moms via standards that are not written in stone but change as practices

Rules for writing and posting on the internet is a work on progress, and parents have no manual to guide them in making decisions about appropriate sharing pictures and information about their kids. On the bright side, other parents who are part of social media communications are willing to offer their comments and criticisms. If they think someone overshares, they will weigh in to say so. On the darker side, some of this criticism gets mean and judgmental. The STFU website has been accused of encouraging mean spirited criticism of parents who post about kids, even to the point of discouraging some parents from feeling it’s safe to say anything about parenting related matters xoJane . We need negotiations and discussions about community practices, but we also need a climate of respect. If online communities are a work in progress, finding a way to keep the discussion open and supportive of parents is still a goal to work for.

image: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/cabepfir/disegni/letterascarREDjpg.jpg Now that the videos are showing up online with parents publicly shaming their children, as a viewers once the horror subsides, we are left to wonder how it took so long for this ingrained need to abuse others in the name of correction to find its way onto social media. Here are some of the problems with this approach to parenting. Serving Time – the lifelong sentence of being shamed by a parent in the name of “love.” Ignoring Bullying Research – the potential life long psychic damage on those who are bullied, as well as possibility of repeating bullying tactics once bullied. Social Climate of Control and Punishment – enacting notions that brutality is the best way to correct people who make mistakes. See for example this video of an Illinois parent publicly shaming and disciplining his daughter in the school grounds in front of close to 500 children. In the words of a child “Big people should

View post on imgur.com As a feminist over the years I’ve often tried to trouble some language misuse that has the potential to hurt people. While it appears that there has been a slight move away from saying “it’s a man’s world” and using the generic “man” to refer to all people, it can be useful to remember the struggle to have language habits change to be more accurate and inclusive, even on a linguistic matter so basic. How many times did people roll their eyes when I said “human” when the word “man” was expected… So humankind instead of mankind for example, or “chairperson” rather than “chairman.” slowly over 30 years or so, language has evolved so that many people are accepting of more inclusive language, and less inclined to tell users to “lighten up” or “relax.” Pointing out how any group uses a term that could be offensive or hurtful is usually met with a chorus of different versions of the phrase “it doesn’t mean anything, we’re just having fun.” Winnipeg loves it’s NHL J

By Adam Christianson I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix lately. They just put up all ten seasons of Friends, so my every waking minute not dedicated to school, I’ve been reacquainting myself with one of my all-time favorite sitcoms. Remember that episode of friends with “the list”? Ross learns that Rachel is in love with him so he makes a chart with the guys comparing Rachel’s flaws to those of his current girlfriend, Julie. Remember when she found the list and read over all the flaws? It just devastated her. “Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.” I thought a lot about this clip when I was reading a 2008 babble post by Keri Fisher where she discusses how parents often have and in fact blog about their favourite child(ren). What happens when you blog about your favourite child? What happens when you blog abo

The controversial “dead kid bowl” ad played during this year’s Super Bowl raises some controversies about parents and anxiety for their children’s safety and well-being. Becoming a parent you dawn the mantle of having to make good choices, within reason, to ensure that children are safe and even happy. But accidents can happen on a dime. Media images that warn parents what can happen and that define accidents as preventable situations are probably not much help to anyone. Uninvolved parents will ignore the images or ads, whereas parents who are already prone to worry will hone in on the details, as if the worst case scenarios confirm their worst fears. Hovering parents will simply hover more, and probably cause agitation rather than a sense of security in their kids. I’m a parent prone to over worrying and keeping my children on a short leash with a story. When my girls were young, and the youngest only 3 years old, we went to a pool party lunch at my friend’s house. My youngest da