Mommy Blog Lines: Tal(k)ing Care

Years ago, Carol Gilligan put forward the thesis that women’s morality was centered on relational experiences and that men’s morality was based purely on autonomy. Her argument was challenged as over essentializing. Yet, here we are in 2014 and undeniably one of the main themes in literature, television, and popular culture that is aimed at a female audience are vampire narratives with female human heroines who learn about romantic love by loving vampiric males who, as non-humans, can’t love. Is it true that for women it’s about sorting out relationships and love and for men it’s about being concerned with right actions and living? Is it true that after all the feminist efforts to obtain/attain political equality there appears a residual difference between women and men? Within this genre, women seem to continue to have the burden to be concerned about healthy love and relationships, whereas men have the potential advantage of leaning on/learning from women’s work to educate them.

While being curious about the essay on gender equity by Beyoncé, I was more keenly drawn to Beyoncé’s video “4. Liberation” at the bottom of the post. I’m immediately hooked by her comment “just because you become a mother doesn’t mean you loose who you are” and then by her ability to speak honestly about the work it takes to get her focus, her dreams, and herself “back” after becoming a mother. She confesses that the time making her self-titled and newly released album Beyoncé was an “escape” where she could create her own world and fantasize about her life before she was caring for an infant child. Proud of losing the 60 pounds of weight she gained during her pregnancy, she asserts that “you can have a child, and you can work hard, and you can get your body back”. She also speaks honestly about how getting back into her body helped her find her sensuality. She’s proud of growing up through her experiences of pregnancy, birth and mothering, and says that it’s important to her to ex

On Facebook today, there was a post about the new Pope’s brave reformation of the Catholic church, concluding by summarizing his position in the desirability and immanent dawning of the day when a woman could be Pope. It took someone else to point out to me that this was not real news, making me shake my head at the depth of my obtuseness–not reading this with instant recognition that it was internet hoax news. This is really interesting–news as not just selectively offered but imaginary. Who wants to be caught quoting Will Ferrell and his Anchorman, but here I go: news defined as the exercise of giving people not what they need to know but what they want to know. In this case we hear of a third Vatican council completing the work of Vatican 2. Utopia of sharing and tolerance. When I first read this all-good / great-news announcement,I simply accepted it as news.Then I noted the corrective comment about the announcement being created internet story–virtual world news. The point of disc

How many Christmas times do we get in our lives–only one a year. So a limited number! I feel regretful to feel relieved this one is over. It should be a milestone to celebrate. And here I am admitting to wanting to get through it and past it . Not so good. When our kids are young and little, winter holiday times are like the Christmas tree–we can decorate the days to our hearts’ content. We can go to as many concerts and events as we like, and really make something of it. There are magical nutcrackers, villages for Santa, dancing deer. When they are older and more cynical and world weary, the animation freezes, magic leaves and many of the doors are shut. Of course there are other ways to celebrate. Of course, the best antidote is as always to find ways to to turn your hands to doing for others. But I think it’s a good idea before switching expectations and actions to reflect on loss as well as gain, to have a real sense of what time passing and holidays mean rather than rushing to