moms still navigating the ideals of motherhood
A couple of weeks ago I had the good fortune of attending the Motherhood and Fatherhood/Popular Culture steam at the 2013 Popular Culture Association/American Culture Association conference in Washington DC. Academics, primarily from the USA and Canada, gathered to talk about many elements of parenting and popular culture, including: the slippery slope of losing hard fought gains to women’s reproductive autonomy; the perpetuation of the ‘mommy wars’ in magazines, film, television and in social media (Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter); the pressure to be ‘super’ moms and ‘super’ dads; the historical and ongoing drudgery of housework; and the push back of some moms to their constant surveillance, scrutiny, and judgement by others.
Sheryl Sandberg’s controversial new book Lean in – Women, Work and the Will to Lead (An interview with Sandberg can be found at http://www.bdlive.co.za/national/2013/04/11/summit-tv-women-power-and-the-ability-to-lean-in) and the New York Times article “Why Gender Equality Stalled” by Stephanie Koontz (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/17/opinion/sunday/why-gender-equality-stalled.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0) were often raised when the complexities of parenting were discussed and the tension filled social expectations placed on parents in the name of motherhood and fatherhood. Anne-Maire Slaughter’s article “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/) was the the catalyst for discussion around the need to place the value of families and humans above those of employers.
Like the academics at the conference, many mommy bloggers find the work of parenting to be challenging in a society that, at best, pays lip service to the value of families and parenting. And it’s not surprising that when the pressures of mothering become too great, or when the end to the exhaustion of themselves and their family members seems impossible, they turn to their blogs and their online community to share their frustrations, anxiety and wicked humour (http://www.topmommyblogs.com/pages/index.php). I particularly like the blogs by two amazing queer feminist mothers, “A Queer Family Grown in Redneckville” (http://aqueerfamilygrowsinredneckville.blogspot.ca) and “Feminist Pigs” (http://feministpigs.blogspot.ca/) for keeping a critical perspective on the tension filled project of raising children. These bloggers, and others, help me feel part of a community of mothers that is both aware of the ideals of motherhood and the necessity of contesting them as we find ways of parenting that are true to ourselves, our children and each other.
Fiona
Sheryl Sandberg’s controversial new book Lean in – Women, Work and the Will to Lead (An interview with Sandberg can be found at http://www.bdlive.co.za/national/2013/04/11/summit-tv-women-power-and-the-ability-to-lean-in) and the New York Times article “Why Gender Equality Stalled” by Stephanie Koontz (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/17/opinion/sunday/why-gender-equality-stalled.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0) were often raised when the complexities of parenting were discussed and the tension filled social expectations placed on parents in the name of motherhood and fatherhood. Anne-Maire Slaughter’s article “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/) was the the catalyst for discussion around the need to place the value of families and humans above those of employers.
Like the academics at the conference, many mommy bloggers find the work of parenting to be challenging in a society that, at best, pays lip service to the value of families and parenting. And it’s not surprising that when the pressures of mothering become too great, or when the end to the exhaustion of themselves and their family members seems impossible, they turn to their blogs and their online community to share their frustrations, anxiety and wicked humour (http://www.topmommyblogs.com/pages/index.php). I particularly like the blogs by two amazing queer feminist mothers, “A Queer Family Grown in Redneckville” (http://aqueerfamilygrowsinredneckville.blogspot.ca) and “Feminist Pigs” (http://feministpigs.blogspot.ca/) for keeping a critical perspective on the tension filled project of raising children. These bloggers, and others, help me feel part of a community of mothers that is both aware of the ideals of motherhood and the necessity of contesting them as we find ways of parenting that are true to ourselves, our children and each other.
Fiona
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