Mommy Blog Lines: Tal(k)ing Care

We knew we were in trouble when blogger Natasha Olivera describes her angst about raising boys in a culture that appears to be more ‘girly-girl’ than manly — and declares she wants her boys to learn how to “screw a damn screw”. [link]  http://stumblesthroughparenthood.com/2012/01/12/teen-boys-watching-porn-boys-will-be-boys/ When she suspects her younger son of viewing porn on line, she announces to the blog world that it’s her story to tell as she’s the one who has made the discovery. She describes in some detail casing out her son’s computer viewing history after her suspicion has been raised and reports discovering he has accessed a number of listed pornographic websites. Although she’s happy to tell the blogging world and readers about confirming her suspicions and having an open relationship with her sons about sexuality, she never challenges her son about his viewing habits. After explaining her own attitudes and beliefs about the role of pornography in the development...

The world of blogging and parenting books is not heavily populated with advice or revealing narratives about the experiences of parents still committed to “raising ” adult children. For the first few months of the upcoming new year, we’re going to delve into the challenges, complexities and troubling elements of this relationship and these years. A few years ago, when our children were teens, we noted there were not many moms talking in blogs about teenage children. A few have since stepped up to the plate to discuss this difficult parenting time. Yet what gets in the way of this discussion may be concerns about privacy, with many teens likely voicing their lack of enthusiasm for being fodder for mom’s blog. Disclosures will be something we also need to think about as we talk about parenting young adult kids. We’re also interested in questions about defining a healthy committed parenting role as our children move into adulthood and autonomy. There are questions of whether they should...

Living with one’s adult children is tough territory. Period. The two comments that were posted to our blog arguing that kids can stay home ( Kids CAN live at home: it’s not a mocking matter! ) take interesting, yet opposite views. We want to first talk about the view of James, who speaks as a parent and developmental psychologist and the cultural preferences of American and British families to banish their children from their homes in order to “grow up” rather than do the emotional and difficult work of both modeling and offering support through the inevitable mistakes and set backs of young adulthood while living with their adult children. From my own experience, leaving home feeling the heels of my parents feet on my backside, I dared not ask for support in any way. I was now a “grown up”, an “adult”, who had internalized the expected self-reliance. Yet, feeling insecure and at times in need of parental support, I dared not ask for or rely upon it. As a mother, I knew early on th...